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My Mythical Dream Relationship

My mythical dream first date:

Him:  I know this is our first date and we’ve only been talking for a couple of hours, but.. do you want to get married?
Me:  Vegas?
Him: I’ll drive.
Me:  I don’t know if I want to be stuck for 4 hours in a car with an almost stranger  …   Let’s fly.
Him: Okay.  I’ll arrange the flights and send the uber for you in….  how much time do you need to pack, and how long do you want to stay?

At the end of the month we will find a place and move in together.  Unless he wants me to move into his place.  And no he can’t move into my place because I have a girly place and a gentleman never moves into the lady’s place.  I’d rather we found a new one.  Upon moving in, we meet on the couch after our respective jobs and live a rather chilled lifestyle.


This is a mythical dream-marriage couch conversation:

Him:  My Dad’s birthday is in a couple of weeks.
Me:  That’s cool!  What’s his name?
Him:  Herbert.
Me: Like the president?
Him: Yeah.
Me: Sweet.
Him:  Want to fly out with me and meet my parents?
Me: Yeah, but can we tell them I’m your girlfriend?  You know I’m not into parental pressure.  Plus, “wife” sounds so formal.
Him: Sure, if you like, or I can just introduce you as Melanie and tell them they might as well get used to you, because I dig your spirit.
Me: You totally get me.  I love you.  *KISS*


This is another mythical dream-marriage couch conversation:

Me: Do you want some Scotch?
Him: Sure.


And yet another mythical dream-marriage couch conversation:

Him: It’s good to see you.
Me: I feel the same way about you. Want to take a bath together?
Him: Nah, let’s just get in the actual Jacuzzi.
Me: Okay.


Did I fail to mention that the “HIM” is ideally Quentin Tarantino? But if I can’t get Quentin, I’ll settle for my soul mate.

xoxoxo and thank you for reading!!

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About Melanie Baldonado

Melanie Baldonado was born and raised in Oxnard, California to a family of five children. She took a quick time-out from her California lifestyle to attend college at the University of Kentucky, where she majored in Kinesiology, Sociology, and well, fun.

One Response to "My Mythical Dream Relationship"

  • Mike Thompson
    July 15, 2014 - 10:01 pm Reply

    Ok my turn. I meet a 23 year old functioning heroin addict who I had actually met 5 years ago on the beach at Silverstrand. I help her through a physical illness and attempt to get her to rehab for her drug use but she has convinced me she needs drugs just to survive a d just feel normal. I am the only person she knows that understands this, thus anchoring her to me because I am the only person who gets her. Typical conversation, “I’m going to stop of for some H, want me to grab something for dinner while I’m out?” We fly to Tahiti to get married. Our first night there, not having had a fix in over 24 hours, she kills me in my sleep. The end.

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